Hearing your newborn’s first cry is often a moment of great relief and joy for new parents. It’s a signal that your baby is alive, breathing, and healthy. But after that initial excitement, crying can become one of the biggest challenges in the early days of parenting. It’s normal for newborns to cry—a lot. In fact, crying is one of the few ways babies can communicate in the beginning, and over time, you’ll learn to understand what those cries mean, whether they’re hungry, uncomfortable, or simply in need of comfort.
Caring for a newborn during this “fourth trimester” (the first three months of your baby’s life) can be overwhelming at times, but knowing that crying is a normal part of their development can help you approach those moments with more confidence and calm
Why Do Babies Cry?
Crying is a newborn’s way of telling us something, and often, it’s a need that can be easily met. It’s not just a sign of distress, but their primary way to communicate. Over time, you’ll start to recognize different types of cries and what they might mean. Here are some common reasons babies cry:
- Hunger: The most common reason babies cry is because they need to be fed. If it’s been a while since their last feeding, this might be the first thing to check.
- A Dirty Diaper: Babies dislike being uncomfortable, and a soiled diaper can quickly make them fussy.
- Fatigue: Sometimes, babies cry because they’re tired but struggling to fall asleep. They need help settling into sleep.
- Overstimulation: Newborns are still getting used to the world, and too much noise, light, or activity can overwhelm them, causing them to cry.
- The Need for Comfort or Love: Babies love to be held, snuggled, and reassured that they’re safe. Needing attention or wanting to be close to a caregiver is a normal and healthy desire in the fourth trimester—it’s definitely not “spoiling” them.
- Discomfort: Your baby could be too hot, too cold, or have something poking or irritating their skin (like a scratchy tag or tight clothing). Check their environment to make sure they’re comfortable.
- Gas or Colic: Digestive issues, like gas or colic, can cause fussiness and prolonged crying. Babies’ digestive systems are still developing, so they might be uncomfortable after feeds or need help releasing gas.
- Illness or Pain: Sometimes, crying can indicate that your baby isn’t feeling well. If you notice unusual crying that seems more intense or different from their usual patterns, it may be worth checking in with a healthcare provider to rule out illness.
When to Seek Help
While crying is a normal part of newborn life, there are times when it’s important to consult a doctor. Seek help if:
– Your baby has a fever or shows other signs of illness.
– The crying sounds unusually high-pitched or weak.
– The baby is inconsolable for long periods, and you’ve tried everything to comfort them.
– Your baby isn’t feeding well or seems lethargic.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off or your baby seems unwell, it’s always better to get professional advice.
Soothing Your Crying Baby
Now that we’ve covered why babies cry, let’s look at how to soothe them. The most important thing to remember when your baby is crying is to stay calm. Your baby can pick up on your emotions, and when you’re calm, it helps them feel more secure. Being in the moment will help you better understand what’s bothering your baby and what methods work best to soothe them.
Here are some tried-and-true ways to calm a fussy baby:
- Stay Calm and Present
Take a deep breath and try to stay calm. If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, your baby may sense that tension. Sometimes, just holding your baby close, gently rocking them, and talking softly can help soothe them. Being in the moment will help you tune in to your baby’s cues and understand their needs.
You’ll also begin to notice patterns over time—maybe your baby gets fussy at certain times of day or responds best to a specific method of soothing. It’s all part of the learning curve, so be patient with yourself.
- Baby Massage
A gentle massage can work wonders for both you and your baby. It’s soothing, helps with bonding, and can even relieve gas or discomfort. Using light pressure, gently rub your baby’s back, tummy, and legs in a calm, quiet environment. You can use a bit of baby oil or lotion to make the massage more relaxing.
- White Noise or Music
Newborns are used to the sounds of the womb, which is why white noise, soft music, or even the sound of a fan can be comforting to them. You can use white noise machines or apps to create a calming environment that mimics the gentle hum they heard in the womb.
- Singing or Talking
Your voice is incredibly soothing to your baby. Sometimes, just talking, singing softly, or humming can calm them down, especially when paired with gentle rocking or swaying. I recently had a consultation with a mom whose baby only settled when she could hear her voice. It can feel overwhelming when you can’t get a moment to yourself, but try to be flattered—your baby finds comfort in you!
Before you know it, your little one will be all grown up and asking for their own space, so soak in these moments, even when they’re tough.
- Skin-to-Skin Contact
Holding your baby against your bare chest (known as skin-to-skin contact) can be incredibly calming for both of you. It helps regulate their temperature, heart rate, and breathing, while also promoting bonding. This closeness is especially beneficial in the early weeks when your baby craves that sense of safety and warmth.
- A Stroll or Car Ride
Sometimes a change of scenery can make all the difference. Taking your baby for a walk in the stroller or a short drive around the block can soothe them when they’re feeling fussy. The motion and fresh air often help them relax and drift off to sleep.
Managing Stress When Baby Won’t Settle
Caring for a newborn can be stressful, especially when they cry for long periods and nothing seems to help. Back in the day, parents often had extended family around to lend a hand, but many of us live in nuclear families now, without as much support. If you have older children to care for, it can feel even more overwhelming.
Here’s the most important thing to remember: never shake your baby. Shaking can cause serious harm to a baby’s developing brain. If you find yourself getting frustrated, ensure your baby’s immediate needs (like feeding and a clean diaper) are met, and then place them safely in their crib for a few minutes. It’s okay to step away and take a moment to breathe and gather yourself.
Reach out to a friend, family member, or your partner for support when you need a break. You don’t have to do it all alone, and asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing.
The Fourth Trimester is Fleeting
This phase of constant crying and fussiness will pass. It might not feel like it when you’re in the thick of it, but your baby will grow and develop more ways to communicate their needs beyond crying. Until then, embrace the snuggles, the sleepless nights, and the moments of joy that come with knowing your baby is growing and thriving in your care. Before you know it, they’ll be all grown up, asking for space and independence!
In the meantime, remember: you’re doing an incredible job. Stay calm, stay present, and don’t be afraid to lean on others when you need it. You’ve got this!
